We’re now two weeks into our five-week study of 1 Corinthians 13. Even if this happens to be the first time you’ve ever heard someone preach on the “Love Chapter,” you’ve probably heard at least some of the verses before. It must be the most popular wedding passage in the Bible! A love-struck bride and groom gaze deeply into each other’s eyes as the pastor reads out these verses, the poetic pinnacle of what love is supposed to be like. Then the ringbearer delivers the rings…and the ringbearer is a dog, of course! We’ve all seen that romantic comedy, haven’t we?
But stop and think about it. When’s the last time you heard someone apply this chapter to their friendships? That’s far less common, isn’t it? Most of us Americans default to thinking about romance when we hear the word love, but the Bible is much broader in scope than that. The Bible exalts the love between a husband and wife as a beautiful expression of our life with God. But love can’t be exhausted in just that one relationship. God also intends for us to have deep and meaningful friendships as well.
David and Jonathan are probably the Bible’s two most famous BFFs. 1 Samuel 18:1 says that, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” What a remarkable way to describe a friendship!
This powerfully intimate language can make modern readers uncomfortable and has led some to conclude that David and Jonathan must have been engaged in a homosexual relationship, but C.S. Lewis responds to that charge insightfully in his book, The Four Loves. Lewis writes:
“A belief in invisible cats cannot perhaps be logically disproved, but it tells us a good deal about those who hold it. Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros [romantic love] betray the fact that they have never had a Friend.”
Maybe we default to reading 1 Corinthians 13 in romantic terms because it’s just too hard to imagine a friendship that could reach such divine heights. Our experience of friendship – and therefore, our hopes and expectations for it – are just too small.
One of the biggest lessons I’m taking away from six months of social distancing is the importance of deep friendships. Not mere acquaintances or Facebook friends. Real friendships. Look again at the way that Paul describes love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Can you imagine a friendship like that? That’s exactly what God intends for his church! We don’t talk about “discipleship through relationship” because it’s trendy or fits neatly on a coffee mug. We believe that’s actually how God made us to live and grow. Church is a place for real friendships – because our friendships are built on the love of Jesus, our true and perfect friend. Jesus has loved us in all the ways that Paul describes, which fills us with love to show to one another.
My encouragement to you this week is to take some initiative. Don’t wait for friendship to fall out of the sky and hit you on the head. Go out and get it! Sit out on someone’s porch and share a cup of coffee. Get on FaceTime or call someone on the phone. Get creative! But however you do it, pursue friendships, both as a way to show love to others and receive it from them. God made you for it!