Word of the Week: Friendship

The ninth commandment teaches us not to lie, but it refuses to be confined only to lying. In this commandment, we find God’s call to be honest people. We find his desire for us to be genuine and authentic, to stop hiding behind false faces and our reflex to answer, “Fine,” whenever someone asks how we’re doing.

One thing I didn’t say much on Sunday is how important honesty is to friendship. C.S. Lewis devotes a chapter to friendship in his book, The Four Loves. I hope you’ll read the whole book if you haven’t, but let’s start here:

Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

Do you have many friends? The truth is that most Americans don’t. It’s a tragic irony that we have ten million ways to stay connected to each other and yet many of us lack meaningful human connections. What gives?

If Lewis is to be believed, maybe it has something to do with how honest we are with each other. Do you think you’re the only one? I’ll bet you’re not. Friendship begins when we share something in common. But how will we know if we don’t share ourselves with each other? For sure, it’s too risky to wear our hearts on our sleeves with every single person we meet. However, it’s equally risky to keep ourselves locked up in a vault with everyone we know. It takes wisdom, but the truth is inescapable. Relationships require us to take the risk and put ourselves out there. Relationships require us to be honest.

Is there someone you’ve wanted to get to know better? Maybe you’ve intended to get coffee for the past six months. Why not this week? If we take the chance and live honestly with each other, what might God do next?