But I can’t go back
And I don’t want to
‘Cause all my mistakes
They brought me to you - The Avett Brothers
I am in the process of culling the home library. Some books will get pride of place on the shelf. Some others will be packed away, maybe to see the light of day at another time. Still others will find new homes. It is a slow process. It’s not the books’ fault; it’s mine. Too many times, instead of quickly placing the book in the appropriate pile, I begin to thumb through it, stopping the work to read through favorite passages.
Thus, I found myself browsing through The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis. I found myself at the point in the story where Shasta (the boy, who we later discover is actually Prince Cor) meets Aslan, the great Lion King of Narnia. Shasta recounts his story which is a sad mixture of unfortunate events and bad decisions along with some seemingly fortunate happenings. In Shasta’s account, part of the negative experiences was being chased by lions. Here we pick up the conversation.
“Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta.
“There was only one lion,” said the Voice.
“What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night, and-”
“There was only one: but he was swift of foot.”
“How do you know?”
“I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”
Here, Lewis shows forth one of his consistent themes throughout the Chronicles of Narnia, that is, the sovereign goodness of Aslan. From this, we are meant to consider the same in the real king, Jesus. We need to understand that all the threads and pieces of our lives are in His hands. This includes all that happens to us over which we have zero control (which is most things). And it even extends to our sins, mistakes, and foolish decisions.
As the song lyrics at the beginning of this post suggest, we are unable to travel back in time to undo our failures. And even if we could, it isn’t a great idea because we have no certainty that we will handle the circumstances better or that a better decision will lead to a better present and future. I mean, think of the plot of every novel, TV show, or movie where someone goes back and changes something in the past. It rarely works out well.
Instead, saints, we should in humility acknowledge that Jesus is taking all of the threads, even the ugly ones, and weaving them into a beautiful tapestry of our life. That He actually does know better than us and that He is working for our good (Romans 8:28). It does not mean we should be unconcerned about our sins or be foolish in our decisions (Romans 6; Book of Proverbs). But let us not become immobilized by the guilt of our sins and foolishness to the point of despair. Instead, in faith, let us cling to the promise that when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Jesus is with us every step of the way, even our missteps.
