On my editor’s desk, there is a slip of paper. Across the top are the words, “Four Sayings that lead to wisdom”. They come from Inspector Gamache in the mystery novel, Still Life (a book I recommended in a previous post). Each time a new recruit comes to work with him, the inspector passes on these sayings. He believes that if his team members will embrace them, it will lead not only to better work but better lives. I have found them to reflect biblical wisdom and I have benefited from them immensely.

So, I share them with you. But be warned. They are short but may be some of the hardest words to say and believe.

I was wrong. You would think that for Christians, with our biblical view of sin, this would be easy for us to acknowledge. We know we sin; we know we fall short; we know that the remaining corruption in us often gets the upper hand. And yet, our pride makes the words almost impossible to utter to God and to others.  But this is the beginning of true repentance, an acknowledgement of our wrong without caveat or blame-shifting. It’s the difference between King Saul and King David. The former tries to explain why his sin is not really sin while the latter names it clearly and owns it fully (cf. Psalm 51).

I am sorry. These are words we may be quick to say without really meaning them. We say them at the very moment we are actually saying it’s not our fault (see 1st saying above). It goes like this: “I’m sorry that you are upset by my actions, words, etc.”.  Translation: “Why are you so thin-skinned to be hurt by something that isn’t even that big of a deal? The real issue is you, not me.” And yet, we are told by the Apostle Paul that there is both a worldly and a godly sorrow over sin (2 Corinthians 7:10). For the words, “I’m sorry”, to be true, we must be willing to feel the weight of our sin and the harm it causes.

I don’t know. We all want to appear omni-competent. We give the impression that we have all the answers to every question and situation that life brings our way. And we can often go to embarrassing lengths to hide our ignorance (Free tip: You’re not actually hiding it). Our failure to acknowledge that we don’t know often leads us into sin or at least to making circumstances worse. The Bible assumes we are finite and don’t know everything. This is why the Apostle James encourages us to ask for wisdom if we lack it (James 1:5). The way the sentence is structured carries with it an implied thought that all of us lack wisdom. Saying these words reminds us we are not God and that is a good thing to confess to ourselves often.

I need help. We choke trying to say these three words. They’re so un-American. We are independent. We can do it ourselves. I don’t need anybody else. I am strong. As the mean karate instructor in The Karate Kid movie tells his students, “Mercy is for the weak”. But the Bible says the opposite. It states that in coming to understand our inability, we find there is One who gives us what we need. Even a great hero of the faith like the Apostle Paul would assert that the place where God’s strength was manifested was in Paul’s weakness (2 Corinthians 12). And this need for help is not simply a little assistance. It consists of God doing everything to rescue us from the penalty and power of sin. And He does this through the person and work of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Four brief statements, each consisting of three little words. Yet, if we would truly be willing to say them as true expressions of our hearts, minds, and souls, I think we would find our relationship with God and with others transformed. We need God’s grace to bring this change to pass. We need His help to say we need help. The good news is that our Heavenly Father graciously and generously works in us to produce such change.

So join me in asking our God to change us and empower us to learn to truly say:

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I don’t know.

I need help.